Week 34

Well, only 3 more weeks until I am technically full term. I can't even express how excited I am!

I feel like Boston is getting much bigger. He doesn't grow outward now though. Like my doctor predicted, he is now growing out the sides. It makes me a little self-conscious but it's okay. I just have to remember that it's mostly baby. I have stretch marks all the way around and they reach just above my belly button now. Boston is starting to keep me up at night. When I lay close to Cody's back Boston will kick up and down Code's back and bum. It's funny. I think he knows it's his daddy and wants to play. His kicks are getting harder and it gets harder not to pee my pants when he punches my bladder. The Braxton Hicks are getting a little more painful everyday.

I finally switched doctors. Cody and my mom convinced me. I now have Eve Blair at Lone Peak Hospital. I feel SO much better about labor and everything now. She is so sweet and explains everything perfectly. Instead of just saying, "No you don't have toxemia" she explains why I don't. So I can get rid of that worry. I did find out, however, that my platelets are low. They like to have them between 140-200 and the first time I was tested, I was at 146. The second time I was in the 120's somewhere. Eve told me that if I wanted an epidural and my platelets were low during labor, I wouldn't be able to have one because of risk of bleeding. I'm grateful I haven't been planning on getting an epidural because I would be livid if I went into labor planning on that pain relief and being refused. That's something Dr. Nippert "forgot" to tell me I guess.

I have been having very severe anxiety about labor and after meeting with Eve I feel much better. I am glad Cody's schooling is almost over. I don't do very well alone. I find myself not wanting to do anything and feeling really sad. Since I have a history of depression I have tried to be careful not to fall back into it. I feel happy most days, but when I can't be with him it's really hard.

Last thing! Cody was such a sweetheart and moved the apartment around so we have a studio type apartment. Our bed is out by the fireplace now and what was the master bedroom is going to be the nursery now. I feel so much better! It's still heck trying to keep the place clean but I am getting better at it.

That's all I have this time!

Week 32

I wish I had more informative things to write today, but mostly all I have are thoughts. Cody is at school again, like usual when I blog. It's been harder for me when he is at school because I honestly don't have any friends. I spend most of the time he is gone attempting to clean the house, reading Catching Fire, or watching Grey's Anatomy. This isn't the most productive and I usually don't get very far cleaning the house because I get tired and achy. So today I am going to write my thoughts and do something a little new.

I have my last two week appointment on Oct. 21 with my doctor. Yesterday I went and my doctor had been called to a delivery so I got to see a registered nurse. I actually liked her better than my doctor. My doctor's obsessions with the gas in my stomach is getting obnoxious and she talks about it like it's a huge concern. It's not. She also has been telling me to watch for my mucus plug (sorry if that's too gross) and when I mentioned it to the RN she said that it's not a big deal and only to be concerned if I am having patterned contractions, bleeding, or the baby isn't moving. She was so informative and nice! I am going to find a new doctor for future babies. I also passed my glucose test. I had to be under 130 and I was at 100. Yay! I still get sugar.

Boston is moving like a champ. His legs are getting strong and I'm pretty sure my ribs are getting weaker. He's starting to wake me up at night. Maybe I'm more tired because of that or maybe I'm getting too lonely, but either way I think I am becoming more sensitive. I have been stressing too much about the baby weight that is now attaching at every curve. I stress about losing my insurance after he's here. I stress about my job because I hate working there and the 7 hours I'm there is miserable for me with the exception of a good day here and there.

I need a hobby and I'm pretty sure I need a friend to chat with. I feel bad if I get one though because I'm sure I'll talk their ears off. It's a good thing I only have just over 50 days now because I'm getting tired of being pregnant! I just want my baby now. I want to be a mommy doing real mommy jobs like changing diapers and feeding him and rocking him to sleep. I cramp all the time and can't see my toes or bend over hardly at all anymore. I have stretch marks up past my belly button and down the back of my thighs, rear end and chest. I would love to do things with more energy and get a body that can tie a shoe on it's own.

I know that Boston is worth it and I wouldn't trade him for anything! I just am tired of waiting. Cody will be out of EMT school soon enough and I can hopefully get a grip on things a little better when I have my best friend back with me more often. Sorry for the jumbled blog post, but there's the update!