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Most everyone knows now, but my little family moved back to South Jordan. It's where we belong with family and to be close to our strong support system. I have postpartum depression and I will write more about my experience but it was so much better for us right now to be around family. We are living with my wonderful in-laws. They have graciously opened up their home to us and we are eternally grateful. I am working part-time with a company called Automated Payment Systems. Cody and his dad are getting a pizza business up and running called Random Slice. When we get the paperwork finished through the health department, you all should come try us out!

Back to the postpartum though, I have struggled with depression before and thought this would be no different and that I could handle it. I got to the point that I was so anxious I couldn't leave my house and go somewhere new without Cody. I wanted to go to the library for a while, but every time I wanted to leave I would get a panic attack. Cody expressed his concern to me and we decided to move back home and get some help for me. Since then, I have been on Zoloft and seen my pediatrician (silly that a 21 year old is still seeing a pediatrician, but she is a great doctor!). I have been able to only be on the half dose and it has been enough for me.

I have loved being a mom so much more and wish I had listened to my sweet husband sooner when he told me I had postpartum. I was in denial though and didn't want to admit I needed a little help. I absolutely hate taking pills to regulate my mood, but I know it's helping me be a better wife and mommy and that's what I need right now. Hopefully I won't need to take anything in the future. I was embarrassed by this before, but now I realize how many women have suffered from this and how talking about it has helped me. I just hope that if any other new mommy's have felt how I did, they can get help too. I have absolutely adored being a mother to my sweet son and it has helped my relationship with my husband. 

I notice when I am actually sad now. Before it felt kind of like, "Oh, I'm feeling sad. Alright, whatever." But now that I'm truly happy and feel so much better when I am sad it is such a contrast. I hate being sad now. I never liked it before but it felt normal. Now happy is my new normal and I love it.

My job has helped me as well. I struggled just staying at home. I don't know if it was because I am used to working, being in Cedar City away from family, struggling with depression or what. I really like work though. I am a data entry person and even though I'm in training it has been really enjoyable. Someday I hope to be a stay at home mama again and see how it goes, but for now I think work is going to be the best option.

Six Months Old

My sweet little son is now six months old. Time is just flying by. He is hilarious too! He is becoming so animated and discovering new sounds he can make and loves to hear himself. He loves looking at himself in the mirror and watching videos of himself. I don't blame him! He is the cutest baby on the planet.

So this month has been a big month I feel like! Here are some new things:

-Sits up by himself
-Rolls all over the place
-Still hates tummy time
-Can get on his knees but then plops back down
-Throws toys
-Eating lots of new fun solid foods
-Naps without being swaddled (not for very long, but it is possible)
-Chews on binky and shoots it out of his mouth
-Holds onto his toes
-Reaches for people
-Loves to growl
-Gets very impatient when he eats. We can't get the next bite in fast enough.
-LOVES anything that has to do with Barney
-Loves "playing" video games with Daddy
-He FINALLY has hair!

It's such a joy being his mama and I wouldn't trade it for anything!