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Most everyone knows now, but my little family moved back to South Jordan. It's where we belong with family and to be close to our strong support system. I have postpartum depression and I will write more about my experience but it was so much better for us right now to be around family. We are living with my wonderful in-laws. They have graciously opened up their home to us and we are eternally grateful. I am working part-time with a company called Automated Payment Systems. Cody and his dad are getting a pizza business up and running called Random Slice. When we get the paperwork finished through the health department, you all should come try us out!

Back to the postpartum though, I have struggled with depression before and thought this would be no different and that I could handle it. I got to the point that I was so anxious I couldn't leave my house and go somewhere new without Cody. I wanted to go to the library for a while, but every time I wanted to leave I would get a panic attack. Cody expressed his concern to me and we decided to move back home and get some help for me. Since then, I have been on Zoloft and seen my pediatrician (silly that a 21 year old is still seeing a pediatrician, but she is a great doctor!). I have been able to only be on the half dose and it has been enough for me.

I have loved being a mom so much more and wish I had listened to my sweet husband sooner when he told me I had postpartum. I was in denial though and didn't want to admit I needed a little help. I absolutely hate taking pills to regulate my mood, but I know it's helping me be a better wife and mommy and that's what I need right now. Hopefully I won't need to take anything in the future. I was embarrassed by this before, but now I realize how many women have suffered from this and how talking about it has helped me. I just hope that if any other new mommy's have felt how I did, they can get help too. I have absolutely adored being a mother to my sweet son and it has helped my relationship with my husband. 

I notice when I am actually sad now. Before it felt kind of like, "Oh, I'm feeling sad. Alright, whatever." But now that I'm truly happy and feel so much better when I am sad it is such a contrast. I hate being sad now. I never liked it before but it felt normal. Now happy is my new normal and I love it.

My job has helped me as well. I struggled just staying at home. I don't know if it was because I am used to working, being in Cedar City away from family, struggling with depression or what. I really like work though. I am a data entry person and even though I'm in training it has been really enjoyable. Someday I hope to be a stay at home mama again and see how it goes, but for now I think work is going to be the best option.